


What Has She Done?

by BlueElectricFish



Series: I Want the World to Know (I'm Coming Out) [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, HRT, Like, Trans Magnus, Trans Male Character, grumpy uncle merle, i feel horrible for her, i feel like she's been so alone for so long, im trying to be realistic here and i just don't see lucretia handling this situation well, kind of?, please help my daughter, some hard conversations, spoilers for stolen century
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 14:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12061290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueElectricFish/pseuds/BlueElectricFish
Summary: Magnus and Merle go to Lucretia with a request.Lucretia has to face the weight of what she has taken away from the boys.(Magnus comes out to Lucretia a second time, but he doesn't know he's done it before)





	What Has She Done?

**Author's Note:**

> Technically Part 2 in my collection of Magnus coming out to people. There will be a second one with Lucretia probably? No Promises.

Magnus stood at the door to the Director’s office, he stared at the door. Merle stood at his side.

“Come on, big guy, just go in,” he said. Magnus shook his head.

“I don’t know if I want to,” he said, “I’ve been fine my whole life, maybe I’ll just wait until  _ after _ .” Merle shook his head.

“Nope, I walked all the way down here, I’m not letting you back out now just because you’re nervous.” Merle pushed at the door and Magnus grumbled.

“I don’t want-”

“What can I do for you, boys?” The Director was standing by her desk, seemingly waiting for them to finally enter the door.

“Magnus had something to talk to you about,” Merle said, crossing his arms, “I’ll be over here.” And he walked off towards a potted plant against the wall.

“Magnus,” the Director said, turning her attention to the human who stood across from her. Magnus wrung his hands in front of himself, trying to get the courage up to say what he needs to say.

  
  


“I wanted to talk to you about a- er- medication that I would like to be taking,” Magnus said uncomfortably. Lucretia felt something dark in the pit of her stomach as she began to understand without Magnus saying anything. She tried to keep her composure.

“Why would you need to talk to me about any medication?” she asked, a reasonable question to be asking. Magnus frowned.

“Well there isn’t really a pharmacy on the moon,” Magnus said a bit curtly, “and I don’t actually get paid enough to pay for a pharmacy anywhere else.” Lucretia nodded.

“Well, if you have any of your previous medication left over, I’d be happy to have some chemists work to replicate it.” Lucretia said, staring down at her desk. Magnus shook his head.

“I, uh, don’t have any of it. I’ve never  _ taken  _ it, I just… I would like to be taking it,” Magnus said, “uhm, testosterone medication that is.” Lucretia felt herself go numb. On the Starblaster, Magnus had been taking T for nearly all of the hundred years they had spent together. Cycle four, maybe cycle five, when he had had the idea of hormone replacement explained to him by Lup and after that there had been practically no stopping him. Lucretia couldn’t find her voice to respond to Magnus.

“The issue is well, I’d never taken  _ it _ before, and I just have been  _ wanting  _ to,” Magnus repeated. 

Lucretia feels tears coming to her eyes when Magnus repeats himself the second time. She hadn’t done her job right, and that was becoming clearer and clearer as time went on. Magnus frowned at her when she didn’t answer the second time.

“Maybe I should clarify?” Magnus asked, he looked tense. Merle was standing off to the side, inspecting a plant that was growing in a corner. Lucretia felt sick to her stomach that Magnus felt a need to bring back-up in the first place.

“No, no, that won’t be necessary,” Lucretia said, rubbing her eyes in the most nonchalant way she could manage.

“Damn well shouldn’t be,” she heard Merle mutter from his wandering location. She shook her head.

“No, of course not,” Lucretia nodded. She had essentially forgotten about Magnus’s needs when she  _ abandoned _ him in Raven’s Roost. Gods, they had been on this planet for years before she enacted her plan, Magnus went through hormone withdrawal because of  _ her _ . She felt nauseous. She didn’t even know what that would entail but she imagined it wasn’t good.

“Oh, good,” Magnus seemed to slump in relief, “I didn’t know how you would, uh, react to  _ it _ .”

“To what?” Lucretia asked, distractedly, as she jotted something down in the notebook on her desk. Surely Magnus didn’t think she was so stingy to refuse him treatment he needed. Magnus bit his lip.

“To me being-” he cut himself off with the thud of his own foot, “trans, I guess?” like it was a question. Lucretia froze again.

Oh gods, he was coming out to her right now. She already knew, of course, that Magnus was trans, but he didn’t  _ know _ that she knew. She didn’t know how to respond. How had she responded when he had first told her?

“Magnus, I would never respond  _ badly _ towards you because of your gender,” she was struggling and she figured it was obvious, what was she supposed to say? How was she meant to reassure him?

“I would hope not,” Merle said, coming to stand next to Magnus. He crossed his arms. Lucretia’s heart warmed.

“Never,” she said, “I will contact some of my people and have something delivered to you tonight.” Magnus nodded.

“T-thank you,” Magnus asked. Merle elbowed him.

“It’s common courtesy, don’t thank him,” Merle grumbled under his breath.

“Merle is right, Magnus, and if you ever need anything else,  _ anything else _ , you just go ahead and ask, no judgement, ever.” Lucretia shifted a little uncomfortably. Playing this game of boss, of cold and calculating, no-goofs Lucretia was difficult. Magnus nodded hesitantly. And then, him and Merle were gone back out the door.

Lucretia lowered herself to her seat at her desk and groaned.

“What have I done?” she asked no one in particular.

“Davenport.” she heard from the other side of the room. And that broke her. The tears fell from her eyes liberally. She had never wanted to curl up and shut the world out as much as she did in that moment.

What had she done?

**Author's Note:**

> I know this was more Lucretia centric than Magnus centric but oh well. I love Lucretia and I will fight people about it.


End file.
